Am I Going To Hell? Who’s With Me!
I am a firm believer in the “well they won’t do that again” school of learning. That’s how I grew up. Stick a penny in the light socket – I didn’t do that again. Climb on a tower of randomly assembled household items to reach the top shelf – I didn’t do that again, either (okay one more time but I swear never again after that).
This is why when is see others engaging in behavior that is inherently stupid, I want them to have a “they won’t do that again” moment. One the biggest acts of stupidity and the one that brought me to this tirade are women who do not leave themselves enough time to get ready in the morning.
Today I was in traffic behind a woman applying mascara in rush hour traffic. Okay, I will admit to the odd lipstick application behind the wheel, but I cannot imagine taking a plastic bar, covered in stiff bristles, slathered with black goop to my eye while doing the rush hour bunny-hop. I envision something like that going very badly.
For some reason, I found myself hoping this woman would rear-end the person in front of her. I wanted her to poke her eye out so I could say, “well, she won’t do that again.” I wanted her to walk around with an eye-patch for the rest of her life, so she could be a lesson of other women who think their dashboard is an extension of their bathroom vanity.
Ditto for the woman I saw barreling down the road at eighty miles per hours, with a Starbucks and cell phone in her left hand, and a curling iron in her right. What was she using to steer? Her foot? I wanted a deer to run out in front of her so she would be forced to drop the hot iron and coffee in her lap. After six or seven skin grafts, she wouldn’t do that again.
The scary part of thinking this way is I’m the one who will go to hell for feeling this way.
I’m just sayin’. ~V